


Good Deals

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Comment Fic 2016 [45]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 18:24:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7449529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the comment_fic prompt: "Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, When they go offworld, somehow the Natives think Rodney is the "heavy" and John is the genius." (There was a total slash fail.)</p><p>In which Rodney was made for battle, John is slender and delicate, and Harmony spreads the word about her favorite boy(s). Set during SGA Season 4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Deals

Teyla was alarmed when the locals separated her and John from Rodney and Ronon as soon as they stepped through the gate. They weren’t angry or threatening about it. A group of women swarmed Teyla and John, chattering excitedly, welcoming them to their world, and began herding them down the stairs and toward the palace. A group of men - tall, broad, strong, and wearing lacquered wood armor - greeted Rodney and Ronon, clapping them heartily on the back and asking about their weapons. They, too, were herded toward the palace.  
  
John tried his best to smile pleasantly, but the women were all over him, poking at his tac vest and trying to smooth down his hair with their hands.  
  
“Hey now,” he said, squirming away when a woman stuck her hands under his tac vest in an attempt to remove it, “personal space!”  
  
“We have heard so much about you from our allies,” the chief woman said. All of the women wore ornate gowns with high collars and, curiously, had their left hands hidden in closed sleeves, though best as Teyla could tell they were not maimed or injured in any way. “We are honored you would dine with us. We wish to learn all about your world.”  
  
John craned his neck to where Ronon and one of the men had fallen into an impromptu grappling match while the other men circled them and cheered them on.  
  
“Don’t your, uh, gentlemen wish to learn all about our world?” he asked.  
  
The women tittered behind their covered hands.   
  
“No, that is not their domain, though we understand your confusion,” the chief woman said. She introduced herself as Marilena, wife of General Hourran, and continued leading them into the palace. Teyla and John were directed to divest themselves of their tac gear and weapons, were both subjected to a floral-scented face scrubbing, and then given little gloves to wear over their left hands. There was much giggling and consternation as the women struggled to find a glove that fit John’s hand, but eventually Marilena tied a handkerchief over his closed fist and secured it at his wrist.  
  
“What’s going on?” John whispered to Teyla.  
  
“I know little of this planet,” Teyla whispered back. “Only that these people are allies and have access to much-needed resources.”  
  
“Are we supposed to eat one-handed?” John asked.  
  
Based on Teyla’s observation, the women felt free to use their covered hands, had a lifetime of practice working around the way their dexterity was decreased due to a layer of cloth. “I do not think so.”  
  
“Great. So, when can we get on with the eating and treating?”  
  
“Patience, John,” Teyla murmured.  
  
Prior to the banquet, Marilena took them on a tour of the palace libraries, which were filled with books made of fine paper and exquisite, colorful writing Teyla couldn’t read. She noticed many women in the library who were copying books, and Marilena greeted them all by name, her smile kind.  
  
“What are Rodney and Ronon doing?” John asked.  
  
The women kept giggling at him, and he looked very frustrated.  
  
“I am sure the men are entertaining them suitably with games of combat and sport,” Marilena said. She patted John’s covered hand. “Have you seen our Ancestral writings? We believe this was actually written on your planet, for the images of the animals contained in it are strange to us. Could you tell us of these animals?” She guided John and Teyla toward a crystal display case where a codex - very unlike the scrolls used natively - was open on a stand.  
  
John peered through the crystal pane. “Well, that right there, with the long nose? That’s a mastodon. Giant. Furry. With tusks. And that looks like a sabretooth tiger. Is that a...giant scorpion? Looks like it. A giant sea scorpion.”  
  
The women gazed at him with wide eyes.  
  
“It is true,” one of the women said. “You are very learned.”  
  
“Thanks,” John said warily.  
  
“I believe,” Marilena said delicately, “that the term you use is ‘genius’?”  
  
John ducked his head. “Well, I did pass the test for MENSA, but - hang on. Who told you I was a genius?”  
  
“Our allies,” Marilena said.  
  
Teyla was immediately concerned. The only people who would know of John’s intellectual prowess would be the Genii, after having seen John solve the mathematical puzzle in pursuit of the ZPM.

“Which allies again? Remind me, so I can thank them,” John said, and the women laughed like he was joking.  
  
In the banquet hall, Teyla and John were seated beside Rodney and Ronon, but Teyla and John were clearly seated on the women’s side of the table, whereas Rodney and Ronon were seated on the men’s side of the table.  
  
Ronon had a gash on his cheek but was grinning widely, exchanging crushing handshakes with the men nearest to him while General Hourran clapped Rodney on the back and asked him to recount the tale of his heroic rescue of Queen Harmony.  
  
Queen Harmony must have been the ally who had recommended John’s team to Marilena and her people. Teyla did not know much of what had happened with Queen Harmony, but she did know that John always returned from visits to her planet irritated whereas Rodney was smug.  
  
“Tell us, McKay,” General Hourran said, “how many Wraith have you killed?”  
  
“It’s hard to say. I’ve blown up several hive ships, and I have no idea how many Wraith were onboard at the time of the explosion,” Rodney said, which was true. He looked about as baffled as John had early on in their time on the planet, but he went along gamely.   
  
The men around him raised their tankards high and cheered.  
  
“To McKay, the strongest and bravest of them all!”  
  
Rodney blinked, wide-eyed. “Thanks?”  
  
The main drank deeply from their tankards, slammed them down on the table, and roared with laughter.  
  
“So modest, McKay,” General Hourran said. “It is unnecessary! You are among friends.”  
  
“Friends,” Rodney echoed weakly when General Hourran slapped him on the back so hard he almost fell out of his chair.  
  
“So tell us, Colonel Sheppard,” Marilena said, “is it very common for men on your planet to also be able to read, or is that a skill only reserved for the slender and delicate, such as yourself?”  
  
John choked on his drink. “Delicate?”  
  
“Queen Harmony told us how rare and unusual you are,” Marilena said. “But it is wise, to send a scribe into the field with a soldier, to record his observations and brave deeds.”  
  
“ _Harmony_ told you about us?”  
  
“You are only realizing this now?” Teyla murmured under her breath, flashing Marilena a smile.  
  
“So let me get this straight,” John said, “on your planet, the women do the reading and writing, and the men do the fighting.”  
  
“Of course.” Marilena gazed at her husband fondly. “Men’s minds are not so well-suited for the complexities of writing and recording, and they need us to be able to send messages and plan battle strategies. Behind every great man is a great woman. For a man to be able to read as well as you is...unusual.”  
  
“Not on my planet it’s not. Rodney can read.”  
  
“Not as well as you, I am sure,” one of the other women hastened to reassure John, patting him on the shoulder. “Look how broad his shoulders are, how strong his chest and arms, the shape of his chin. He is made for battle.”  
  
Teyla desperately wanted to laugh at John’s perplexed and embarrassed expression, but she did not dare.  
  
“Made for battle,” John echoed. “Right.”  
  
On the other side of Teyla and Ronon, Rodney was recounting the time he blew up five-sixths of a solar system, and the men were listening in awe.  
  
“Sachelle,” Marilena said, “bring a brush and paper for John, so he may write while we speak.”  
  
Sachelle giggled at the words _he may write_ , but she quelled herself at a look from Marilena and scurried to do the older woman’s bidding. When she returned, she had a brush, pot of ink, and a blank scroll. John stared at the brush for a long moment, then reached into his pocket and drew out one of his little clicky Earth pens.

“What is that?” Marilena asked.

John demonstrated. “A pen. It’s what we use on my planet. More portable, less messy than a brush and ink.”

The women crowded around him, awed.

“Are they expensive?” Marilena asked.

“Depends on the kind you get, I suppose.” John shrugged. “Want to try?”

Marilena looked delighted. She was hesitant at first, but when she saw how the pen worked, she scribbled away rapidly. The other women clamored to try, and John sat back, amused, as they all scribbled away with his pen.

Marilena held the pen up. “How many of these would you be willing to trade? For a senine of naquadah ore.”

John raised his eyebrows. “I don’t know. How much do you think one pen is worth?”

Marilena hummed thoughtfully. “Two pens for a senine.”

While paper and pens were rare on Atlantis simply because records were best kept digitally, Teyla knew that they were not particularly rare or expensive on Earth, but a senine of naquadah would be as heavy as Ronon.

John, however, appeared to consider it thoughtfully. Did he even know how much a senine was? But then he nodded, and he wrote it down on the scroll, and then Marilena wrote the agreement in her own script, and best as Teyla could deal, an accord had been reached.

On the way back to the gate, Rodney said, “I don’t understand why they thought I’d enjoy all those sweaty oafs feeling each other up and pushing each other around.”

“Grappling is a noble and ancient art,” Ronon said.

Rodney huffed. “Of course John got all the women. Kirk.”

John, whose patience had barely been hanging on by a thread when Marilena imparted a final word of advice - that he make sure his left hand was kept soft for his lover - cast Rodney a grin. “And I struck us a damn good deal.”

“Whatever. Rub it in.”

Carter was pleased when they reported establishment of a positive trade relationship, and she let them have two days’ stand down before their next gate mission. On the way to the cafeteria, Ronon reached into his pocket and drew out a picture.

It was a tiny painting of Rodney looking heroic and firing his P-90 while Ancient drones circled Queen Harmony and John...hid in the background like a coward?

“Apparently this is what Harmony told them about Rodney and John,” Ronon said.

Teylal smiled. “It explains a lot.”

“Should we tell them?”

“Never.”


End file.
